God Ana[b]log Entry #7


That morning started like all others: in the morning. I texted X, making sure he was good to go. I checked with Christian. I touched base with the photographer, Ken, and makeup artist, Derek.

Everything was a go for 12pm.

At 11:30, we pull up to the studio. Ken greets us hardily. Then my phone rings. It is the makeup artist.

“Hey, man! I think I missed a turn or something. I’m gonna be a bit late.” He says.

“Oh, okay. Do you have an ETA?”

“A what?”

“Estimated time of arrival?... Like, how late?”

“I should be there by like, 12:30, 12:45.”

“Uh, cool. Alright, we’ll get set up and whatnot.”


“So... yeah, see you when you get here, Derek.”


“Okay... I’m hanging up now, Derek. Drive safe.”

I went back inside. Ken assists in setting up the backdrop, the lights, etc. It is now 12:45. I call Derek.

“Hello?” he answers.

“Hey, Derek. You almost here?”

“I’m sorry, man. I was about to call you. I’m stuck in horrible traffic. The traffic here sucks!”

“Yeah, sure does. Do you have any idea when you might get here?”

“It’s really bad, Adam. Maybe like, 1:30?”

By this point, Ken is discreetly looking at his watch. You know what, though? Ken never gets testy. He is an indomitable ball of positivity. He starts coming up with all of these contingency plans and various ideas for what we could do. 2:00 pm rolls around, and, I haven’t even heard from Derek.

“Hey, Adam, buddy, could I talk to you real quick?” Ken asks.

He leads me to the staircase leading to his studio’s dressing area.

“Man, I’m sorry. I really hate to do this to you, but--”

“I know. You’ve got your other shoot soon. We’ll clear out of here.”

Ken then continues to say that if we want, he can do his next couple of sessions and then we can come back. I tell him not to stress it and hand him an envelope containing our agreed upon price. He turns it down and gives me a hug instead.

Ken... is a fucking saint and will be my go to photographer until the day one of us dies. We bid farewell to Ken and went to get a bite to eat. My phone dings while we're eating. Guess who it's from? Good job, if you guessed Derek. It says:

“Sorry, man. Traffic got so bad that I just wasnt moving so I pulled off for a bit. I feel really badly though, so lets knock $25 off my price when we reschedule, k?”

Well, needless to say, we did not reschedule with Derek. What DID we do instead? We went to my house, moved a couch so we had a nice, wide, white wall, took three selfies, and I photo-shopped the holy hell out of them so they looked at least SOMEWHAT professional - we had to have SOMETHING for the upcoming music showcase, right?!

...which reminds me, uh, I really should have mentioned this showcase thing a lot sooner, huh? Well, okay, next post.

Until then, take care everybody.

- A.D

#goth #band #rock #emo #photoshoot #fail #selfie #disaster